It was like an ordinary day. When all a women wants to do is go out with her girls and be women. I've had many failed attempts at dating. I have met the most disgusting excuse for a "man". All they ever were to me was useless and a waste of space. Honestly I couldn't think of anything more worse. It was as if Cupid kept striking the wrong person. Or it seemed I was just to over my head. Whatever the case may be. I came to the most simplistic choice. Dating was just not for me. I was at a point in life where I needed to work on me. I had to choose me for once. This time I wasn't putting myself second. I was going to take care of my needs. I needed a whole lot of TLC and time off. It was just what the doctor called for. When I started worrying about what I needed most everything seemed to fall into place. It wasn't just because that's just what people tell you and boom everything's great. Life became manageable because I found peace within my heart. I went on a self discovering adventure to realize I was worth it. Life is really worth living. Along my searching I found faith, triumph, adrenaline and compassion. Compassion not only to those who have done me wrong but compassion to myself. I believe in all that I do. I stand up for my rights as an individual. I don't let anyone degrade me. I refuse to be that victim I once was. I don't believe in just being a survivor but a learner. I learned the most difficult lessons. Cherry blossoms are but one of my many favorite types of trees because the saying behind them is just beautiful. They blossom in the most difficult times. I know that is what happens with most of us. We become molded into our final creations. It became time I helped others find this peace of mind. This strength that blossomed within me. I decided it was time for a girls night. A night where we can dress how we want to, wear make up of all kinds and bring men to their knees. I finally got the courage to be comfortable in my own skin. We went to a club where I had friends there. We danced all night, got a couple of well earned drinks, and had a good time. Towards the end of the night we came across a bunch of guys. They seemed like they had good intentions.. I wasn't sure. I just know a lot of guys didn't have the best intentions. I could see it in their face or the way they looked at us. As if we weren't human but a doll to them. I was careful to go to close to these people. Finally we started talking to them. My friend was arguing with two of them automatically. I just shook my head in awe. I tried to ignore the fact that we were in the military but she brought it up. Then they all were talking about it. I kept eyeing one of them. He was the cutest out of all of them. He was quiet at first but then he started chirping too. I didn't know what to think until we all went back to my friends house. We drank more and sat down. I started talking to each one of the guys individually. I wanted to know who they were obviously since we all ended up here. Regardless I had that one guy stuck on my mind. He was just dreamy. As I talked to everyone else they seemed nice. I just lost interest automatically. Until finally it came to me talking to this one guy. I wasn't sure about him because I saw him yelling in this heated discussion. I just took it as him being passionate about his work and what he does. I am a very passionate person. I take everything personal. I have no shame in that. As we talked I got all these butterfly emotions. He was strong, handsome and had this cute boyish vibe about him that drove me crazy. We laughed and talked all night. I sat next to him on the couch until they left. For some reason I just was drawn to this guy. Out of the whole pick of the liter. This one guy was catching my eye. Thankfully he asked me for my number. I felt like he had to have liked something about me. I wasn't sure? Was he into me? Other than my crazy co worker/ friend was screaming up a storm. She was as calm as a cat in a whirlpool. However he kept his gaze on me too. Throughout the whole night. I knew he was deploying. I was leaving too. I was leaving at this point for my recovery. I just had a super girl crush moment and thought that was it. I wasn't going to hear from him again. There was no way. Especially with him being such a hunk. I continued on with my life. I would bring up that night to my friend all the time. She would just listen. Out of all the guys in the world
, all the ones buying us drinks, and asking us to go with them. I chose that guy. I literally said if we aint leaving with them we aint leaving with anyone else. I wanted to go with them. Not only because they seemed less creepier than the rest of the guys. I felt a spark. I felt a spark as grand as the fourth of July. I'm glad it seemed like he liked me. Yet once it became morning they left. I heard from him the next morning. One of the last times for a while. We would exchange small conversation back and forth until finally he asked me out. I would gossip or have moments where I would tell my friend omg he is sooooo cute what should I say??? Should I ask him out? What if he says no? What if he says yes? What should I wear? I don't want him to think I'm a harlot. I also didn't want him to think I was a prude. I have been called that many times. I just wanted him to see me as a normal women. What should I do? Or we do? I was lost for words. I spent that whole day jumping up and down. After one night of being together I already felt comfortable. We spent that whole day trying to find him an outfit. We joked, laughed found some food to munch on. We explored each other that night. We finally found a bar with a rooftop.